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Bread gloves - The package contains two size 8 sourdough gloves, also available in classic white, unleavened, whole wheat, and raisin, and it even has the people at Food Oddity stumped. Their slogan is: “Make anything into a sandwich!”

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Diet water - Behold, the greatest marketing scam. In 2004, Sapporo came out with a Diet Water, but there’s also Skinny Water and Fitness Water in the US, according to Free Dieting. PSA: water has no calories.

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A book called ‘The Most Awesome YouTube Videos Ever!’ - Instead of creating a playlist on YouTube where you can actually watch the videos, Adrian Besley put this collection together in print for reasons few can understand.

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Condiments for pets -

You can get “Petchup” in beef flavor and “Muttstard” in Turkey flavor. Good news: they’re gluten-free!

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‘Minions’ cereal -

Must we eat everything we love? One of the many brands of Minions cereal has a brown sugar vanilla flavor, and another has a banana berry flavor. The real question is—which do Minions really taste like?

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A Shrek face mask - Soothe and hydrate with this Shrek mask, available on eBay, and get that glowing ogre look only Shrek could achieve with heaps of mud.

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Sonic the Hedgehog firming treatment - GlamGlow’s GravityMud comes in an exclusive shimmery sonic blue color for gamers who love skincare. According to Kotaku, it’s US$69 for a small pot of the product.

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A t-shirt with the entire ‘Jack and Jill’ script printed on it -

Also known as one of Adam Sandler's worst films, where he played the two lead roles, you can buy a shirt with the whole film printed on it from Red Bubble for just US$21.55 plus shipping.

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The iPotty -

Get your kids excited about potty training by keeping them on it while they play games! This outrageous product involves an iPad attached to a plastic potty. 

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Canned whole chicken -

Maybe we should just stop canning anything and everything? 

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Air from Kanye West’s Yeezus tour - Many Kanye fans took to eBay to sell bags of air from his concerts, and one bag was even selling for US$600,000, according to The Telegraph.

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The hairbrush with an iPhone holder - No longer will you have to carry a separate phone and hairbrush! The Selfie Brush ensures you’ll “have your best hair in every selfie.”

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A book on how to make crafts with cat hair -

‘Crafting with Cat Hair’ is a book that will help bring out that crazy cat person inside you. 

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Gendered glue sticks - Pritt came up with pink glue sticks “Just 4 Girls,” so, at long last, girls can finally use glue!

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Pickle-flavored toothpaste -

Nothing will wake you up in the morning like the stark, briny taste of pickle on your tongue. 

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Justin Bieber duct tape -

Duck Tape created this shamelessly branded product to... appeal to the younger crowd?

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Candles that smell like dinner -

Yankee Candle is “America’s Best Loved Candle,” but flavors like schnitzel with noodles or turkey and stuffing (made with “pure, natural extracts”) should have never come to fruition. 

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Squeez Bacon -

Squeez Bacon is a condiment containing 100% cooked bacon paste made from US-bred swine and has a shelf life of 12 years. Each bottle comes with 16 servings, which is equivalent to 64 slices of bacon, and it’s available in America for the very affordable price of US$7.99!

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Pills that make you poop gold - The late New York artist Tobi Wong designed products for rich people who already had everything, but he knew what they didn’t have—gold poop. Wong created this 24 karat gold pill that you can buy for a cool US$425, according to Oddity Central.

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Motorized ice cream cone - Take the work (and the joy) out of eating ice cream, with a dishwasher-safe appliance that spins the sweet treat around for you, so all you have to do is become a passive consumer.

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America-shaped sunglasses - Imagine yourself squinting in the bright sun. Now, imagine you could flip down all of America over your eyes. You can do just that for the cool price of around US$200, according to Gizmodo.

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Mermaid tails -

Sure, they're a serious hazard for swimming—but they can make you feel like a mythical creature! Until you have to pee, of course. They range from about US$70-100 on Amazon.

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A literal thumb drive -

You can get a USB thumb drive that looks like an actual human thumb. No one needs this much creepy in their life.

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A pillow in place of a boyfriend -

Who needs a partner when you can have a weird pillow with an inanimate arm and half a shirt to hold you all night long? At least it won't snore or hog the blankets. 

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Cheez-it flavored lip balm - Pucker up with the taste of processed cheese on your lips! When kissed it tastes more like a creamsicle, apparently. 

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Wines for Dummies -

The company that has helped millions learn vast amounts of information is also licensed to sell bottled wine complete with directions on how to pronounce things like pinot grigio (pee-noh gree-joh). It's a great wine to impress a hot date...

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Internet Explorer cologne -

Retail Hell Underground shared a photo of a real cologne branded with the classic blue ‘e’ and the golden stripe. What would that smell like?

See also: Are you using expired makeup? Here's when to toss it

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