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At the zoo - "Sexual predator EMU!!!! As my partner and I strolled around the CHILDREN'S SECTION of the zoo an emu got a bit too friendly...I pushed it away and it decided to go ejaculate on some poor lady!"

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Abbey Road - "I was told to check out the zebras crossing Abbey Road whilst in London but didn't see any. Perhaps you have to come at night to see them."

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Anne Frank House - "I don't see the point of this 'attraction.' It's absolutely a waste of time. So some girl wrote a diary, who cares?"

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The Taj Mahal - "Meh...it was a nice visit and I can tick it off of my list but other than that not to be bothered...Oh and what's up with the white-tax on the entrance fee? Do you just assume we have more money than you?"

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The Icelandic Phallological Museum - "So, not surprisingly this museum has wieners of all sorts of animals. They even have a room with folklore creature phalluses...Gift shop isn't great. Wish they had magnets that weren't condoms."

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A beach in Hawaii - "It's a great beach, just too sandy."

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Haunted hotel - "Stay out of it its haunted i saw the ghost in my room over my 4 yr boy i screamed and ran out my room."

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The Grand Canyon - "I've been to a number of so-called landmarks in my time - but what the h*ll was this? Just an overblown sandy ditch...should've stayed in my hotel and watched a DVD instead."

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The Great Wall of China - "...It was too long for me and I got tired. I failed in front of my wife because of this wall, so I'm not gonna be back there."

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Sydney Opera House - "If you like brown concrete with Dim lighting you're in for a treat. Life is too short - do something else."

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Christ the Redeemer, Rio de Janeiro - "The world's most highly over rated...hahahahaha...wonder of the world! Just a concrete pillar! I spent a total of 5 minutes here."

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A theater in Scotland - "I don't like it...the actors have a Scottish accent and its very hard to understand."

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Buckingham Palace - "Standard London: eight billion people lined up four hours ahead of time to see something cheesy...on the bright side, nobody is charging anything. Skip it."

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Big Ben - "I think there is a lot of fuss over nothing really very special. Maybe because I saw it in the morning."

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Brussel sprout enthusiasts - "We got served brussel sprouts and tomato soup for breakfast on more than one occasion, who in their right mind would even serve this food, let alone eat it!"

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The Eiffel Tower - "I have no idea why this tower has gained so much importance. It's not even a symbol of love...It's not worth it. It will cost you a day."

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Brisbane River - "The Brisbane river is really nothing to be proud of. I have no idea why everyone makes a huge deal over it."

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A bar - "My daughter, (13) saw 2 people on the sofa next to the bar 'making love' whilst being videoed by the chef."

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Rusty potato - "My next jacket [potato] came and I descended with enthusiasm. CRUNCH. What was that? Oh! a rusty screw, of course! Unless you like metal (rusty) in your food then avoid at all costs."

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A restaurant - "The meal was ruined by midgets everywhere and we were sitting inside...We woke up the following morning covered in bites and very itchy."

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Hotel - "Do not stay in this absolute dump of a hotel...[it had] blood stained headboards that have clearly been up since the world war (the first one)...and actual poo in the kettle."

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Titez Towers - "The owner kept trying to sell me the hotel and asked if I knew anyone in England who would buy it."

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A fortune teller - "I was there not even 8 minutes she told me I was pregnant then she changed her mind and said I had a miscarriage...I'm 17 years old...then went on and said 'I see you and your brother fight a lot'...I don't even have a brother."

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Hotel - “I found a cat’s paw in my pillow case...[the hotel] should be named Alcatraz.”

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A restaurant - "...On closer inspection I noticed to my horror that it was actually a dead cockroach floating in my drink."

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Hotel - "I didn't expect to find cheese & onion pasties and a chocolate eclair left in the chest of drawers from the previous occupant of the room. When I tried to complain, the man just said 'did you know Michael Barrymore is in town?' BIZARRE."

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A building - "If buildings could speak, this one would be saying 'RUN AWAY'...the bathroom itself resembled a dirty cupboard designed by the inventor of Tetris."

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McDonald's - "My girlfriend and I were having a romantic meal, however it was spoilt when an employee spat in my hair. CHEEKY OR WHAT?"

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A restaurant -

"I found jalapeños in my pancakes...I went to the manager to tell him of the mistake...Instead of apologizing, the manager went ballistic!!!"

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